why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
