True but thats because hes a fetus.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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