i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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