doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
