Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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