were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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