I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
