Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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