He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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