Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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