he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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