I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
