im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
