i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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