Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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