the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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