"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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