Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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