we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
