This girl is more easily done than said...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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