apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
