he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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