I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
