Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
