this beer tastes like vomit already
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
