Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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