Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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