I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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