I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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