i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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