There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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