I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
