I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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