I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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