I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
