chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
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