If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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