6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
