just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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