I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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