just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
God I need to hump something, right now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
