the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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