she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
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i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize