I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And then my night got REAL pukey
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
