i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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