As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
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I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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