the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
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I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
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My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA