spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
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He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.