She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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