So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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