I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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