words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
