Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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