these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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