..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
