I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize