HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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