A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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