Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
